


Green Lenses

by softaropov



Category: Ejen Ali (Cartoon)
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Asexual, Aromantic Character, Aromantic spectrum, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Discovery, Espionage, Family, Friendship, Gen, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Female Character of Color, LGBTQ Themes, Male-Female Friendship, Queer Character, Queer Themes, Solidarity, amatonormativity, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22830043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softaropov/pseuds/softaropov
Summary: Alicia's head spun. The "crushes". The notion of finding boys "cute". How she tried to convince herself she DID find them attractive. None of it was real. All those times she spent staring at her guy classmates, waiting for something, anything, to spark to life, but her heart remained idle.(Written for Arospec Fanworks Week on Tumblr, following the promtps "Discovery and "Friends".)
Relationships: Alicia Kheng & Rudy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11
Collections: Arospec Fanworks Week





	Green Lenses

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Arospec Awareness Week! Here's the Aro!Alicia fodder nobody asked for. Is most of it self-projection? Maybe, but by jove may I write about my headcanons or die.
> 
> In this story, Alicia is written as a romance-repulsed (does not like romance), non-amorous (does not desire a committed relationship) aromantic. Not all aromantics are like this—plenty are huge romantics, and some do choose to enter committed relationships. It's just my personal headcanons for Icha, so please keep that in mind.
> 
> Also the Mamak Maju gang are in a poly QPR with each other, and no one can change my mind.

**_ "Do you like anyone?" _ **

What was Alicia supposed to say to that? If she said no, her friends will insist she's lying, but if she said yes, it'll be followed up with the popular variant to this dreaded question: **_"Who do you like?"_**

"Well," she'd reply, "I like you guys."

"Yeah, but we mean _like_ like," to which Alicia will, in barely controlled panic, point at the nearest boy they have regarded as "good-looking", hoping she had gotten the right answer.

She had, sort of. So why did she get a prickly, uncomfortable feeling whenever she was teased for "liking" him? Especially when they tease about someone they _assumed_ she "liked". Alicia told them, with a little too much force behind her words, never to josh her again.

It wasn't present strongly all the time. Some days she could somewhat tolerate mushy-gushy stuff. Other times she felt like throwing a chair at the next person who tried out a pickup line within earshot. Most of the time, she concentrated with all her might on something else whenever she witnessed Mia making googly eyes at her current crush, or looked the other way when passing a couple doing PDA at the mall, her stomach roiling. Averting her eyes whenever a romantic scene came up during those Bollywood movies her uncles loved to put on was an automatic reflex.

**_ "You're just a late bloomer!" _ **

Her uncles said she would get crushes eventually. It was only natural she would get them, right? Then again, would it be so bad if she didn't? Romance never sat right with her. Imagine feeling something one was so repulsed by. In all the movies and stories, those imbued with romantic love never seemed to think straight. She often read about how crushes took up most of one's thoughts. Alicia was not so hot with losing that much control over her mind. 

But she did want to find true love! She _did_ want a relationship! (Right?)

Love was always described as pounding hearts, butterflies in one's stomach, burning desire, and longing. Where was all of it?

**_ "When you get married..." _ **

This sentence was brought up in class, amongst her friends, and relatives during family reunions. Usually it was to coerce her into learning a practical skill. Alicia found great hypocrisy whenever her uncles or papa said it.  
"None of you are even married."

"That's because we don't feel the need to," Uncle Rahul had replied.

"Settling down with a partner sounds great—" Uncle Raju had started.

"But we wouldn't trade our Icha for the world!" Uncle Razman had given Alicia's hair a thorough ruffle.

As she brushed her bangs back into place, Alicia wondered: would she end up like her uncles and papa, living and raising a child together with her best friends? She had to admit, the idea sounded more appealing than being bound to one person for life. What would matrimony even bring her? Companionship? Status? Starting a family? Those can be obtained outside of marriage. _Probably tax benefits_ , Alicia reasoned, _and some semblance of financial stability. Plus the couple discounts that seemed to be everywhere._

**_ "Oooh, you LIKE him!" _ **

A shudder ripped through Alicia. "Absolutely _not_ ," she snapped. She knew she'd have to make sacrifices when she undertook General Rama's orders to watch over the I.R.I.S., but she never thought she'd have to sacrifice _this_ much dignity.

When she thought back to all her efforts in keeping an eye on Ali and his superpowered gadget, the more she realised it probably _did_ look like she harboured affection for him—by trying to get as close to him as possible. On more than one occasion, she'd approached his table in a _civil_ manner to discuss or remind him of missions, which, to others who were used to seeing her talking him down and assigning him punishments for violating school rules, would seem out of character. Not to mention inserting herself into his group during P.E. just to get him used to working in a team at M.A.T.A. Academy. Being in the same extracurricular as him _certainly_ did not help.

Which is why, when Ali approached her, still stewing in regret and repulsion, so they could make their way to "stamp club" together, she slammed her hand on her desk and seethed, "Don't ever come near to me again. Don't ever speak to me again, don't ever _look_ at me again."

Alicia stalked off, ignoring his pleas to wait up.

**_ "Have you ever heard of aromanticism?" _ **

Say what now?

"The lack of romantic attraction, experiencing it in a different way than most do, or not at all."

Alicia turned towards Rudy, who doesn't look like he's joking. He almost never does. That's what made him a good confidant, and a great teammate. "Do people who have this–this _aromanticism_ –"

"Aromantics."

She ran the word through her head. "Do aromantics usually...not like romance?"

"Some do. Me, personally, I'm neutral about it. Some even like romance."

Alicia did a double take. "You're aromantic?"

His only reply was a small smile. "Do you think _you_ might be aromantic?"

Alicia's head spun. The "crushes". The notion of finding boys "cute". How she tried to convince herself she _did_ find them attractive. None of it was real. All those times she spent staring at her guy classmates, waiting for something, _anything_ , to spark to life, but her heart remained idle.

_ Aromantic. _

She wasn't obligated to seek out a romantic relationship (nobody was, but most do, so it certainly seemed that way). She wasn't obligated to get a partner because she didn't _need_ one. Her heart swelled at the thought. This _lack of attraction_ thing had a name, and there were enough people in the world who experienced it for it to _have_ a name. But her momentary victory was quickly snuffed as something else occurred to her.

**_ "What will my future look like?" _ **

What of life's biggest milestones? The ones that include getting married, and having children? What was Alicia supposed to do if she desired none of it?

And what was going to happen when her friends eventually find their partners for life and start prioritizing them, and spending less time with her? Would she lose all her companionships in life, having no "special someone" to turn to?

"Well, that's the catch isn't it?" Rudy shrugged. "Since we don't fit into the usual narrative, we'll have to forge our own."

**Author's Note:**

> Lbr, even if AFW wasn't going on, I'd STILL write a Aro!Alicia fic, because Alloaro Alicia is one of my favourite headcanons for this show. Her agent suit is literally the alloaro flag colours guys, come on. AroAce Rudy is a fave too, I can't help but put him in. I need more of them being salty aros together. @Wau make it happen
> 
> The sentences that are both bold and italicized are things aromantics usually hear when they mention they don't feel romantic attraction. I used it here to serve as starting points for different parts of the story.
> 
> As always, constructive criticism is appreciated!


End file.
